I remember reading a tweet that said, “women need to realize that they are either a single woman or a single mother but you can’t be both.” Now this was most likely the result of a meme made by one of those ridiculous pages we all hate to love on social media (most of the posts are hilarious)! But this one stuck out to me! One of the reasons definitely being annoyed at the fact that women and mothers are constantly being scrutinized under a damn microscope for everything we do. Its honestly gotten to the point that we can't ever go to Target by ourselves without someone asking us where our kids are. I think that's pretty ridiculous, but hey what do I know?
I want to make a point in saying that I created this blog for this exact reason! For us to come together as a community and speak on all the things that society doesn't want us to. All the real life, raw, unedited things that we aren't supposed to feel, let alone express it to the world!
As mothers we are naturally providers and nurturers for our children, there is never one second that we aren’t thinking about our children. Even on our “days off” or “free time,” we are still worried about doing groceries and getting their favorite snacks, getting rid of toys to make space for new ones, getting around to fixing up their closet and buying them all new things for the next season. No matter what the thought may be, it’s always there. Once we become mothers, it’s like we forget about everything else we ever were before that...and for most of us it’s not until years later that we find those things again. Once you have a child, society only views you as a mother and nothing more...and it’s been that way since way before us all and it’ll most likely remain that way til way after we are all gone. I know I’m not the only one who has been out somewhere and gotten the, “where’s the baby?”But this post it to remind us all that we are much more than just mothers and that we need to start going against all of those societal norms that make us feel as though we need to do it all.
I come from a home where my mother in fact, did it and continues to do it all so I'm speaking from a place of experience. I have spent my entire life watching her make the world go round, from being a housewife(a whole job in itself), to getting her Masters Degree, raising four children, being an amazing wife, and trying to make the best of her life while doing all of this. I guess it makes sense that I turned out believing that I can handle 20 different tasks at one time and not go crazy, but that's not the case. My mother just did an amazing job at masking the stress and pressure, so I believed that this was the norm. This is what most of us have been through, and why we were conditioned to believe that we need to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders.
By doing all of these things, we have subconsciously made society, our partners, parents, and children believe that we can handle it all with ease, so those times when we do feel overwhelmed and at the end of our ropes...they look at us as though we're complaining? Can anyone relate or do I just sound crazy?
Society as a whole has put all of the responsibility on the mothers for the most part and we have played right into this idea with our actions. Personally, I feel like no one can care for my child or do the things I do for him besides myself, so I put all of the pressure on myself and I know that so many women feel this same exact way. We schedule the appointments, keep track of everything, do all the dirty work and its just expected. I don't believe anyone is at fault for the way this has played out, but I do feel that women have set the expectations so high and most men are just afraid to make a mistake and eventually not know how to handle it so they don't even try to step up. I promise this is not a shot at any men, I know some AMAZING fathers who are 100% involved in their childs life and they even agree with me on this one. I guess we'll just need to agree on the fact that women just wear the pants when it comes to the family, since the beginning of time men have been the providers and women have been the caregivers. It's just being viewed differently now because women have evolved so much, and more and more of us are doing the job alone.
All of these things push me to say, ENJOY your alone time! Take that bubble bath at night, drink that glass of wine, read that book you've been pushing off, and disconnect sometimes! YOU DESERVE IT! Don't ever let anyone make you feel bad for enjoying yourself when you're not in "Mom Mode," because what they won't ever understand is that we never turn that switch off! We are all Superwomen, getting the job done, and doing one hell of a job! Pat yourself on the back, you're doing great sweetie!
Always with Love,
Liv